Self-trust—”the old man” is very self-confident and feels no need for one wiser and stronger than himself. Trusting in his own powers and resources, he is prone to say, “Though all men shall deny Thee, yet will not I.”

Self-sufficiency—the self-confidence of “the old man” fosters an egotistical, smug self-satisfaction that leaves him stagnant. He has neither desire nor sense of need for anything beyond what he already possesses.

Self-consciousness—”the old man” never forgets himself: wherever he goes, he casts a shadow of himself before. He is constantly occupied with photographing himself and developing the plates. He is chained to himself, and one hears the clank of the chains as he walks. He is often morbidly self-introspective.

Self-exaltation—”the old man” is absorbed in his own excellencies: he overestimates himself and his abilities, thirsts for admiration and praise, and thrives on flattery. He secretly worships at the shrine “self,” and he wishes others to do so publicly.

Self-righteousness—”the old man” loves to dress himself in the garments of morality, benevolence, and public-spiritedness. He even patronizes the church and often assists in drives to raise money for philanthropic and religious purposes, heading the list of donors with a handsome gift. He keeps a double-entry account book—both with the church and with the world—and expects a reward both on earth and in heaven.

Self-glorying—perhaps “the old man” resents this plain delineation of himself as he is and thinks the condemnation too sweeping. Immediately, he begins to enumerate his good qualities, amiableness, geniality, tolerance, self-control, sacrificial spirit, and other virtues. In doing so, he takes all the credit for himself for what he is, exhibiting ill-concealed pride and vanity.

All that we have desired to say of this hideous, ugly self is said most tellingly by Gerhard Tersteegen in the following lines:

“Apart from Thee, I am not only naught but worse than naught, a wretched monster, horrible of mien! And when I work my works in self’s vain strength, however good and holy they may seem, these works are hateful—nay, in Thy pure sight are criminal and fiendish, since thereby I seek, and please, and magnify myself in subtle pride of goodness, and ascribe to Self the glory that is Thine alone.  So dark, corrupt, so vile a thing is self. Seen in the presence of Thy purity, it turns my soul to loathing and disgust; yea, all the virtues that it boasts to own are foul and worthless when I look on Thee. Oh, that there might be no more I or mine! That in myself I might no longer own as mine, my life, my thinking, or my choice, or any other motion, but in me that Thou, my God, my Jesus might be all, and work the all in all!  Let that, O Lord, be dumb, forever die, and cease to be, which Thou dost not Thyself in me inspire, and speak and work.”

Is this delineation of self true or untrue? You have three ways by which you may judge and decide: what God’s Word says of him, what you have seen of his manifestation in other lives, and what you know to be true of yourself. In the light of our own experience, is there one of us who would not have to confess to every one of these hateful manifestations of self at some moment in a greater or lesser degree? We know what a hydra-headed monster that old “I” is. Luther knew it and said, “I am more afraid of my own heart than of the Pope and all his cardinals. I have within me that great Pope Self.”

Source: “Life on the Highest Plane” by Ruth Paxson

Oh Lord Jesus, You came not only to save us from our sins but also to deliver us from all that we are in Adam.