It has been over 1900 years since the death of the Apostle John.   In writing about my experience in “Why Have I Started Blogging,” I stated that according to 1 John 5:20, we believers had received understanding so that we “might know Him who is true.” But did I know Him? After attending church all of those years, I’m sorry to say that I  knew a lot about Him, but I didn’t know Him.  Did I go to church to meet God?  No, I went to hear the choir, see the people, and listen to a sermon about Him.  (Unfortunately, many sermons had nothing to do with Him).  Did His Word change me, or did I leave the same way I came in?  Did I walk away with the feeling that “the glory of the Lord had filled this place?” No, I did not. I’m speaking this way because this has been many of our experiences.

In John 17:17, the Lord Jesus prayed and asked the Father to “sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.” At that time, when I read the Bible, did it do a separating work in me? Did it cut me, causing me to repent, and change my living? “No,” it didn’t change me.  Did I even know the truth when I heard it?  

Yet, like everyone else, I continued to do all that the church required of me.  I tried to keep the law and be a “good person.” I did all outward things, but my person (inwardly) never changed.  One day I hit a wall and asked, “Is this all there is?” “There has got to be more than this!” Yes, I was a believer, but Jesus did not have a daily impact on my life/living.

Soon afterward, my husband and I stopped attending church.  We felt God was leading us out, but to where, we had no idea.  So we went home, and God did not give us a feeling to go and “join” another church.  For the next five years, we didn’t go anywhere.  Before leaving, a sister in the Lord recommended a book to me. I was hesitant because, for the past 27 years, I had only read material written by our church fellowship.  After hearing a little more about the author, I immediately rejected her recommendation.

We went to visit a family before our final day at church.  The book the sister had told me about was on their coffee table.  I asked this sister if she had read it, to which she replied “no.” But I had the feeling the Lord had put this book in front of me again.  

So, I bought a copy.  In my reading, I experienced something I had experienced before.  As I read the book, I looked up every verse in the Bible.  Although I didn’t know what was really being said, inside, there was an “Amen.” Something within me agreed with what I was reading.  I finished the book and started reading it over again.  This time there was a little more “light.” This light was coming from the Word of God.  

I would look them up and read their books as other authors were quoted. The Lord kept me fed through my searching in His Word and reading spiritual books for five years.  This knowledge regarding His Son, Jesus Christ, I had never heard.  In the meantime, He also set me free from trying to keep the law.  He revealed Himself to me, and  I began to love Him and experience His peace inside.

I now understand Job when he said:

Job 42:5-6

⁵ I had heard of thee by the hearing of the ear; But now mine eye seeth thee: ⁶ Wherefore I abhor myself, And repent in dust and ashes.

Hebrews 2:2-4

² For if the word spoken through angels proved steadfast, and every transgression and disobedience received a just recompense of reward; ³ how shall we escape, if we neglect so great a salvation? which having at the first been spoken through the Lord, was confirmed unto us by them that heard; ⁴ God also bearing witness with them, both by signs and wonders, and by manifold powers, and by gifts of the Holy Spirit, according to his own will.

Acts 17: 27-28

²⁷ that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, ²⁸ for ” ‘In him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, ” ‘For we are indeed his offspring.’

O Lord Jesus, may we be those who seek You, and feel our way towards You, and find You.

In Him,

Marion